And here we are at week 30, which means I’m really on the home stretch when it comes to this pregnancy. It’s now only a very few short weeks until my baby arrives and life will never be the same again!
I haven’t been doing a baby update every week because not an awful lot has changed on a weekly basis – and still no weird and wonderful cravings to report or anything like that. It still feels as if time is passing very quickly, and I’m still feeling lucky not to have suffered much ill health.
Definitely starting to get more excited now as it all becomes real. Of course I’m a little bit scared about the birth, but not nearly as much as I thought I would be – it mainly feels like, although its daunting, its unavoidable so there’s no point worrying too much about it.
Of all the birth stories I’ve heard, the experience is so different each time and there’s no way of knowing what it will be like, so I’m trying not to get too fixated on pain or thinking about things that ‘might’ happen. It feels like the little chap is all that matters now.
Still stupidly emotional and just thinking about him, or Seb holding him for the first time, or him being here at Christmas can set me off. I feel so happy and blessed – it sounds odd but that wasn’t something I expected when that little line first turned blue and all I could think about in my shock was how everything was going to change.
I sort of feel ready for him now – well, as ready as you can ever be – and I’m just focused on the immense feelings of love I have for him and also for Seb, who has been amazing looking after me.
All the doubts and what if’s I used as obstacles before we began this journey feel very insignificant. I spent so much time worrying that maternal feelings wouldn’t come naturally to me, because I’ve never felt especially maternal before. But now I’m sitting here dreaming about him and wondering how I could ever have thought that!
Physically, I am definitely slowing down though. I can feel myself getting out of breath easily and taking longer to walk places. But I’m just trying to pace myself and if I need a sit down or a nap, I’ll take one. Its getting difficult to balance my job though, which is extremely busy and stressful at the moment. I did have some annual leave booked to do shorter days in the run up to going on maternity leave, but work asked if I would consider cancelling them as its so insanely busy at the moment.
I agreed to it as it means more time to add to spending with the baby later, but I’m beginning to regret it and to realise that if I am going to make it working up until just a week ahead of my due date, I’m going to need to become stricter about leaving the office on time.
At the moment I do so much extra and that’s all because there is no back up and no one else to pick things up if I’m not around. But its time to realise there’s a bigger issue and that I can’t be held responsible for poor staffing levels at a time like this.
I did manage to have a couple of days off that I kept though, and I used them to tick off a couple of items on my ‘Bump to Baby Bucket List’. I spent time catching up with friends, working my way through a couple of great historical epics and I also took a shopping trip into town to get the final items for my hospital bag.
There’s quite a lot that you need to take into hospital with you, and I wanted to be sure I was all prepared well ahead of time. I’ll do a separate post on what’s in there and why!
It was just nice to have a day to myself looking around the shops. I started the morning off treating myself to an iced coffee and a pastry and just took my time wandering around and ticking things off my list. Heaven.
Til next time xx
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