New Year's Resolutions are definitely like Marmite - some people can't get enough of them, while others loathe them.
For me, it's love. I've always been interested in self-development, and I adore dreaming up shiny new future me's that are free of bad habits.
The thing I've learned over the years is that you have to make your goals achievable… Aiming for the moon might be inspiring, but it usually falls by the wayside by mid January.
For quite a few years now, I've been really focused on do-able, feel good goals - and I usually manage to hit them. Real change generally isn't dramatic in the short term - it's incremental, and it isn't until later that you can look back and see a huge shift.
So my goals for 2020 are pretty much a small development on my autumn goals from 2019. Here's what I'm hoping to do and achieve as we kick off the new Roaring Twenties…
Break A Bad Habit
I've no shortage of bad habits, but perhaps the most insidious one, the one that has impacted my life more than I realised until recently, is my borderline addiction to my phone.
I run my entire life from my phone. From banking to making to-do lists, blogging to reading books - I do it all on my phone. The trouble is, I end up with it hardly ever leaving my hand.
And recently I've noticed that it seems to have spilled over into a compulsion. I've struggled to address it, because I like using it. But I don't like what it does to me.
We recently watched the drama Chernobyl. It was gripping - brilliant acted, truly moving. And yet, even though I was enjoying it, I noticed that I couldn't stop mindlessly checking my phone every few minutes, almost like a reflex. It bothered me that I couldn't stop myself.
So in 2020, I need to make sure that my phone isn't controlling me.
When I first started back at work full-time, I made a rule for myself that I wouldn't look at my phone at all between 4.30 and 7pm. That was to make sure that I was present with my kids before they went to bed rather than getting sucked into Instagram or another internet black hole. I wanted to give them my full attention.
For a while it worked well, but trying to run a blog and a freelance copywriting gig as well meant it wasn't long before I got sucked back into it. So I want to try harder to stop the cycle.
I'm going to make set times where I chill out without my phone, and perhaps try a couple of phone free days too.
Get My Best Body Yet
I've come so far during 2019, so in 2020 I want to build on the successes I've had.
After having two children, I really struggled to be okay with my body. I appreciated everything it had done for me, but I just couldn't love it.
I started doing a bit of running, but I really hit my stride when I discovered hot spin classes. It was a love affair from day one. I fell for the endorphin rush and the results- and in a few months, I'd sweated 8 kilos off in the saddle. My energy levels and my mood improved as well.
Sadly, the gym I was going to folded suddenly and without warning, and that was the end of that. At the moment, I'm just doing the odd circuit training class with one of the trainers from the old gym, but it isn't enough. I need to rejoin a gym which offers spin and continue my work.
I want to shift another 5 kilos and tone up, so that I can feel proud of myself and strong. I also want to address my diet. I've had some brilliant results with intermittent fasting, but I've fallen off the wagon lately. I want to be more mindful of my eating habits and prioritise my health - and achieve a body I'm happy with.
Visit A New Place In The UK And Abroad
When you have small children, often your world contracts dramatically. They become your main focus, and travelling is a lot more challenging, so you look up one day and realise that you haven't seen anywhere new in a while.
So I'd like to visit a couple of new places this year - but as well as somewhere abroad, I'd also like to visit a new place in the UK. This country has so much to offer and yet it's too easy to always just go to the same places.
On top of that, it would be really nice to get away just me and Mr A-F without the children, as well as taking a family trip somewhere.
Read At Least One Book A Month
I'm carrying this one over from my autumn goals, but it's a really worthwhile one that has given me a lot.
I've always been a bookworm since I was a little girl - the power of a good story has never left me. I even studied English Literature at university.
But with the pressures of family life and work, about a year ago I found I was hardly reading at all - or only magazines rather than anything challenging. So I made a goal to read at least one proper book a month.
Some friends and I have also formed a 'slow book club' (slow because we all have young kids and it takes us ages to finish anything!) and that's been great because we all take turns choosing the book, so I'm reading things I wouldn't necessarily choose myself but that I've really enjoyed.
For me, reading a good book is total escapism and very much a gift to myself, so I want to keep it up. I'm even considering purchasing a Kindle again rather than just reading using the Kindle app on my phone, so I don't get distracted.
Do A Good Deed - And Give One Compliment A Day
When there's a lot going on, it's very easy to become quite insular. You think that you have enough on your plate and you sort of forget your duty to the wider world.
So I'd like to consciously do at least one good deed (hopefully more). I'm not sure what this is going to be yet, but I think a good starting place for me could be joining in with the litter picking walks that are held along the nature reserve that we live next to.
I also want to get into the habit of giving compliments. A bit of praise can mean the world to someone, and giving positive feedback gives everyone a glow- the recipient and you as well. It puts you in a good headspace and spreads great vibes, plus it's so easy to achieve!
Take A Risk
So often, it's easy to never leave your comfort zone, and I think especially in my current situation, I've become really risk averse.But I've already made steps to push myself at the end of 2019 and stop things from stagnating.
By leaving my old job, where I was comfortable, I definitely pushed myself. It was a situation that was about taking back the power and making a leap of faith after a bad experience and at a time when my professional confidence was seriously low.
I'm still yet to see if that risk will fully pay off, but I'm hopeful, and at least I know it was for the right reasons. So maybe in 2020 I'll take another risk when the time is right
So, those are my aims for 2020. Some of them are a little vague at the moment, and I'm hoping they will flesh out as the year develops.
It's going to be a milestone year - hopefully we'll finally get No. 80 how we have always dreamed it could be, and our son will be starting school in September.
I hope we're lucky enough to have a year of good health, progress in our careers and family happiness.
Here's to the start of a new decade!
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